Yin and Yang

I am reluctantly learning the lesson of taking the bad with the good.  For every good thing that happens there seems to be two fold of the bad.  Just when I think I cannot take any more another straw is laid on my hump and somehow, I find the strength to carry it.

I know that everyone has their burdens but I really need some relief.  I am throwing this out there into the universe and hoping that something good will come back to me.  My precious grandfather's words are some solace:  "You can make it, with change comes new strength, accept things as they are..." 

I am trying.

A + Yes!

I finally cracked the nut :-)

First assignment was using interesting words to enrich my writing...

“The Barb” is a buxom blonde.  To describe her as gaudy would be a compliment.  Her talons are an inch too long and her hair is a remarkably fake shade of yellow. Typically her make-up is plastered on much too thick and she has lipstick on her teeth. Barb’s red dress is so short and tight that I can see the stitching straining at the seams. Her legs are adorned with red fishnet stockings and her toes are leering over the edge of her peep toed emerald green stilettos.

Her laugh is too loud, her smile too wide and she cants on about nonsense.  She is the queen of inappropriate and tactless remarks with absolutely no compunction for invading personal space.  Combine this with her overzealous responses and her company is excruciating. 

As she speaks, the air becomes redolent with her profusely sweet perfume coalesced with a stale garlic odour of her breath.  I feel myself gag and recoil, desperately searching for an excuse to flee. 

Thankfully, Haydn’s eyes meet mine.  He calls out to me with feigned desperation, amusement etched into his face.  “Oh, please excuse me,” I say, relieved.    

As I turn towards my husband, Barb grabs my arm, determined to stymie my departure.  Usually I am open-minded and altruistic, but this limpid, lewd, walking foible in her ridiculous outfit is more than I can tolerate.  I yank my arm from her importunate grip, flushing with barely controlled fury.  I have an intractable urge to slap her pretentious fat, face.

At that moment my cavalier companion swoops in with knightly grace and eases me away from Barb and her barbaric behaviour!  Within seconds we are outside on the balcony and I can once again draw breath.  The night air is crisp and fresh.  I hear him chortle and chuckle as I feel the angry redness slowly drain from my face.  I fling myself into his arms with a giggle, kiss his neck and say in a slow southern accent, “My hero!”

“Let’s get out of here?” he suggests, grinning salaciously.  I assent to his wishes.  Withdrawing his keys from his pocket, he takes my hand and we head off.

By the time we reach our car we are ambivalent about leaving.  Our last intention is to decimate our friendships and disillusion our hosts (and… my coat was still hanging in the entrance hall).  With stoic determination we turn back to ameliorate our departure.  We sneak back in the way we came, carefully avoiding any further exchange with “The Barb”. 

The brief for this one was a childhood memory of smell...

I like shopping with my mum.

The Mall is so big.  I hold mummy’s hand tight, so I won’t get lost.  The milkshake shop is my best.  It smells all yummy, like candy, chocolate, caramel and bubble-gum.  It makes me lick my lips, “Muuhum…” I begin in my special asking voice.

“Maybe later, okay?” she replies with a little smile, before I even asked. 

I try not to sulk, but I force my bottom lip down anyway and give her cross eyes.  She does not see.  “Maybe later,” usually means no.

Yay, we are going in the glass elevator that makes my tummy go flip floppy.  I can’t stand by the glass because there are too many people.  The tall man with grey pants is in the way.  I bend my legs and look through the triangle his legs make. 

Rumble, squeak, pop! 

Eeew!  Stinky!  That man just fluffed - right in my face!  It smells like egg sandwiches, only worse.  I turn my head and try to jiggle the smelly yuck out my nose.  I look up and open my mouth to tell mum but she quickly shakes her head and does the frown. 

I close my mouth, this is a “think but don’t say” time.  I wish I could say though, because I even have a nasty taste in my mouth!  That man must eat eggs all the time, maybe he has his own chickens laying eggs every day!

 

That’s another bad thing about being small.  If I was bigger my nose would not be so close to his butt!  I pinch my nose with my fingers and wait for the door to open.   Mummy puts her hand on my back and pushes me forward in a quick march.

Writing...of course!

So... I am working away at my course and thought that I would share my first article with you.
Hope you enjoy.

I can relate, Gen Z

If you scrutinise those born in the early 1990’s up to about 2010 you will discover Generation Z.  They are also sometimes called, the “iGeneration”, “Now Generation”, “Generation Next”, “Net Generation” or Gen Z.  To better understand this group of young people, as parents, we need a quick overview of where they are coming from.

My Gen Z's, Meg and Jen

They were born into the digital age and cannot imagine a world without mobile phones or computers.  Their world connects by technology and there are no holds barred.  They want instant gratification, and they want it now!

Researchers claim that Gen Z are more socially and environmentally aware and as such, are likely to pursue careers that they think will help society.  They are open minded and accepting of differences, celebrating individuality.  Furthermore, as a result of their ability to process massive amounts of information at lightning speed, Gen Z will be high performers in mentally demanding jobs.  But, before we explore work and potential, we need to establish who they are and how they will get there.

It follows then, that we should consider how they learn.  Educators report that teaching styles have been overhauled to engage Gen Z.  Gone are the days when the mere novelty of working on a computer would inspire a student to learn.  Teachers have moved from “chalk and talk” to more eye-catching and stimulating multimedia lessons.  Digital natives, Gen Z respond well to visual (kinaesthetic, auditory) learning.  They love a contest!  All of their gaming experience is centred on problem solving, meeting the challenge and then moving to a higher level and they are addicted to success.  This can be applied to their learning too. 

Gen Z Boys, Jordan and Tyler

However, we should also acknowledge that all learning does not occur in the classroom.  Playing games like SIMs and Farmville is turning children into little consumers.  They have already learned that money does not grow on a farm!  Gen Z grasp the concept of choice requiring sacrifice and realise that there are consequences to all decisions.  Unfortunately, they have not all learned that there is no “undo button” in the game if life.

Aside from computer games, consider for a moment what kids are doing in their free time.  Social networks, like Facebook, SKYPE, Twitter, Tumbler and MySpace have changed the concepts of communication, interaction and privacy.  Judgement is made with the click of a “Like” button and snap decisions are not only desirable but expected. Gen Z is coming of age publicly, on the web, sharing just about everything.   

 

These multi-taskers seem to always be doing more than one thing at the same time.  Instead of just walking and chewing gum, they are also texting and listing to music.  Some say that Gen Z will be a physically challenged generation, too entrenched in sedentary pastimes. Game-makers like Wii and X-Box have come up with motion sensor games that simulate outdoor sports and recreation, to get these tech savvy kids off the couch.  However, having been raised on ad campaigns that highlight healthy eating and fitness, Gen Z may even be healthier than previous generations. 

Yes folks, Gen Z’s are mature, intelligent and confident, but they can also be incredibly challenging, especially for parents.  Demographer Hugh Mackay explains “a child who is never told "No", allowed to fail or made to face consequences – who is always praised and has never had to share or wait for anything, grows into an adult unprepared for the realities of life.”  Perhaps all the politically correct “fair” treatment will have a backlash, maybe we really do need to harden up.  There are always winners and losers.  In the “pass-the-parcel” of life, there isn’t a toy in every layer.  Gen Z may be less equipped to cope with the unavoidable failures and disappointments of life. 

Having said that, we made them, so we had better learn to live with them!  Are we overindulgent and permissive parents? Gen Z’s are growing up with time poor parents of the “most divorced” generation, living through one of the worst economic recessions in history.  Exhausted, financially stressed and guilt-ridden, many parents are looking for ways to compensate and simplify child rearing. Perhaps we are too tolerant.  Kid’s need discipline in order to learn how to regulate their emotions.  If bad behaviour results in punishment, this must be followed through, no matter how difficult it is.

Gen Z girls, Micca and Bee

Another aspect to consider, is how we share with this bamboozling horde?  Neer Korn, author and social trends expert says: "People lament the loss of communication skills, but it's not a loss, it's an evolution.” We need to meet Gen Z at the virtual middle and use technology to get our messages across.  So, start exercising those handy opposable thumbs people.  If we want to get our prodigy’s attention, we may need to send an IM or text message.  Just make certain that you understand the commonly used abbreviations, or you will find yourself lost in the quagmire of LOL’s, LMAO’s, and WTF’s. 

 
Of course, there is another solution, let’s switch off the TV’s and the WiFi once in a while and spend time talking to our kids.  Bring back real family time for dinners and conversation around the dinner table, board games, walks and picnics in the fresh air.  This will go a long way in teaching Gen Z practical life skills like patience, conversation and good manners.  With so much potential and promise, with our help, Gen Z could have an incredibly positive influence on the way we see things and the world we share.

It's June!

Yesterday I put my head down to get some work done and today when I looked up it is already Friday the 8th of June!  Wow - half way through the year already!  I have not got much to report but I am trucking away at my writing assignments, which is taking up most of my down time, in which I used to write here...

Perhaps I will post up one of my pieces for review?  Mmm - maybe...

Have a great weekend y'all!

Last Night...

I was asked by someone, last night, whether I was proud of my work on this blog.  Honestly, yes I am.  I have put so much of myself into these pages.  Many entries have been the cathartic release that I needed to come to terms with things that messed with my bliss.   

I have learned that holding things in or pretending feelings will go away in time, never works.  You have to act.  Inaction is damaging to the soul.  So stand up and say, "Yes, this situation sucks! But, I am going to make a good plan to fix it".  Then you make good, own it and do it.  You will be forgiven, so long as you are genuinely working to fix things.

I believe that I have led a good an honorable life.  I am not ashamed of anything in my past, it has made me who I am. I am hopeful for the future.  I have been blessed with parents who have been fantastic role models, a husband that is an honest example of goodness (with a little yummy sexiness mixed in - that you don't really need to know about).  My children are beautiful, kind, good students and have great values that will help them to become wonderful contributors as adults (we just have to survive their teens 8D)

I walk with my head held high and and know that I am doing the very best I can, every single day.  Some days are ridiculously successful, others not, I accept that.  The best way to rise up in peoples estimation, is to rise up and take action.  Be proud of yourself and who you are.  Hopefully then, the mark you leave on the world will be a smiley face.

Writing Courses and Full Time Work...

My first week of official full time is almost over, I must say that I am feeling rather proud of myself.  I have a revised job description that includes the Faculty newsletter, a new website project and I have also finished the first Module of my course.  I have still managed to get to both my girls' netball games and can still find time to read and relax. I am extremely grateful to my family for their support with all of this, together we are a mighty unit.

(Please take a moment to look at my poetry page - there has been an update there too, Rebirth was part of my first Module submission.  The requirement was to write poetry or prose that covered the 5 senses).

Things are going well and despite the chill of a wet winter that is digging in down here in New Zealand, I am feeling hopeful and even optimistic for the first time in a long time. 

The greatest challenge is to get out of bed at 6:30am when it is a black as night and make coffee, once that sweet manna has slowly permeated my senses I can progress to actually putting on clothes.  I am out the door by 07h15, okay 07h20(ish) and on the road.  I arrive at work about 07h50 and after the inevitable dash in the rain I have my next caffeine fix.  How does anyone manage without coffee?  By 08h00am I am ready to go, go go!  Before I know it is lunch time and then there is the wee push to get to 4pm.  I dash through the rain once again and begin the drive home. All in all not a bad working week. 

Pity that we now have to get up just as early on Saturday's for Megan's netball games - at 8am in  Northcote!  Worse still is the fact that her OTT coaches want them to be there 40 minutes before the game for warm up; followed by an hour match; followed by "warm down".  Warm down?  How do you warm down, surely it should be cool down and surely that could be done on the walk back to the car?

Grrrrrr OTT indeed, but that is not where it ends. After "warm down" they have a feedback discussion about how the game went, including individual comments for each player (yes lovely but I am tired and hungry) then they present 2 awards, Player of the Day (based on Stats); and Best Effort. This is all fair and reasonable until you hear the next part of the trauma that has become my weekends.  They have a 2 hour team practice on every Sunday from 2pm to 4pm!  Why, oh why can they not have the feedback session then? 

Do I sound pathetic and ungrateful or justified?  

To be fair you should to understand that in NZ all sport is done outside of school, essentially as sport clubs.  The coaches and team managers are volunteers that receive no payment for their efforts.  Games are almost always after hours so that parents can support their children.  Netball is almost as highly regarded here as rugby, even boys and men can play, although not many do.  So, we simply sigh and co-operate and try our best to seem grateful but I still think that 5 hours out of my weekend for netball is a big ask. 

I should mention that Jenna also has netball practice on a Sunday, hers is from 3pm to 4h30pm, her matches are on a Thursday afternoon/evening also a Northcote netball club.  Thankfully AUT is about 1km from there and so on a Thursday I can just go straight there from work.

In the famous words of Forrest Gump,"that is all I have to say about that".

Time flies....

Wow this month has flown by!

I miss my family and friends in SA.  I miss you all!  Your lives are passing by without my direct involvement but rest assured, you are always in my heart.  I do miss you!  I miss people and places and smiling faces.  The best way to combat this longing is by staying in touch!  Thank goodness for Facebook, this is how I cope - how I still feel like I know you.  So, keep in touch.  Nobody really cares what you had for dinner, unless it is really unusual, but post the significant stuff – stuff that I would know if I was still home.  

I found a great quote that I wanted to share with you all.  “When I was a kid, I wanted to be older, this sh1t was NOT what I expected!”  

Does this mean that it is time for me to complain about how things are beginning to sag...  (Mmm, perhaps not just yet)!  I will say that there are certainly some big changes coming up for me this May.  I have not worked full-time since 2000 and am now finally going to return to full time work.  This only adds another 1.5 hours to my day but will still be an adjustment for all concerned.  It's not all bad though, I will be bringing home a bit more bacon anyway (yay).

Since my last post there have been a number of significant dates, birthdays (Brett, Tyler and Biella) and our wedding anniversary, 17 years of wedded bliss.  I was almost 16 when we started dating, that is over 22 years together which in today’s world is amazing.  What I find the most impressive is that we are still so ridiculously happy together.   I know, I know, consider the crowing over. We are aiming for Fiji for our 20^th in 2015.  (Thank you for your patience, hahaha).

I will be posting another tale from the cryptic shortly :-)