2013 and back to reality...

That night she closed the door on 2012, she was happy to see the back of it and hoped that the new year would bring new and better things.

Today I read my friend's blog  (http://planetlederer.com/cuddlebunny) and felt the sting of tears burn my eyes and my throat tighten with sadness.  Lynn an Norwin, your strength and courage are inspiring, Jarrod is a very lucky little boy to have you both.

Yes, we do all come with a story.  My story includes the love of my life and my children; it includes my friends and family and it has seasons of warmth and joy but also some of sadness and loss.  My story is personal and very precious to me and mine.  My story might help others or it might only help me, either way it is my story.


Towards the end of last year Jenna needed an x-ray because we thought she had cracked a rib, in that x-ray I saw a curve.  This curve is small and not too scary to look at but, being a mother who has just seen one child through surgery to correct severe scoliosis, it was another deathly blow to my sanity.  The specialist had a look at it when we took Meg for her check up 6 weeks post op.  He said that it did not look like something to worry about but that when Meg came again, next year, we could bring Jen for another assessment.

Since then I have watched her carefully, questioning, always worrying, is it getting worse?  I have tried to take that worry and put it to the back of my mind but I am a mother and worrying is what we do.  It is not something that I can switch off or put in a drawer, it is as much a part of me as breathing.  It does not mean that I cannot have happiness and it does not consume me - because I have faith, but it is there and there it shall remain.

Worries aside though I am pleased to reflect on the year that has past.  2012 was a tough year, we have lost some friends and relatives and welcomed some new little blessings, we have seen our oldest though one of her greatest challenges and our youngest though her proudest moments.

There have been feuds and fights, frustrations and celebrations, moments of utter relief, of sadness and of joy, achievement and success.  I have learned that life isn't fair but it is mine to live and I don't want to regret a moment.  I have discovered that I really should not sweat the small stuff, there are enough big things to worry about.  I have learned that it is better to share my energy where it generates love and joy rather than wasting it on things that darken my days or bring me down.  I am grateful for every blessing and thankful for every kindness and I am stronger and better than I was before.


I have lofty dreams for 2013, I hope that this will be a year of action and direction.

She walked up to gate, opened it and said hello to 2013, lucky for some... I sure hope so!