Goodbye Madiba, thank you.

It is with great sadness that I have watched the slow demise of Nelson Mandela, the Gandhi of my generation.  A man who is so very clearly loved and admired by the world at large.  This is evident in the incredible list of people who attended his memorial in South Africa last night.  I am proud to have lived in his time, for being a part of his history when at age 18, the very first vote I was able to cast was for his freedom.  I have shared his love of Africa and her people.

It was a very sad day when he stepped down as President and slowly crime stepped up to the point that I felt I had to leave my motherland to protect my children and give them a brighter future.  I feared that South Africa would end up like Zimbabwe and I think I lost all hope in her people.

My heart became very heavy when his death was announced a few days ago.  First I was afraid, thinking that this would be the end of peace and forgiveness in South Africa.  Then I was relieved, instead of making things worse it appears to have made things better again for our rainbow nation.

His legacy will endure in history for all time.  Madiba will walk the halls of immortality with the likes of Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Theresa and Mahatma Gandhi.  Nelson Mandela is the quintessential example of everything Africa's people should be.  There is no way to escape the past but Madiba did not dwell on this, he forgave and moved forward.  There is no way to undo the past, but we have learned an invaluable lesson.  He is our greatest teacher. His humility and grace inspired me.  What a man, what a light to the world.

It is both heart-warming and wonderful for me to see my beloved homeland stand together and unite in a celebration of the life of our "father" of the new South Africa.  The loss of this legend feels personal to me and I am ripped and torn with desire to return to my home and grieve/celebrate with my nation.

My only prayer for South Africa now is that his example can brighten the future and that Africa's people will remember his example and emulate his wisdom and honour.  I pray that all South Africans will show the world that all is not lost.  Stop the crime, poverty and corruption, unite and stand proud, together as he would have hoped.  Give Madiba a legacy that shows the cynics (like me) that Africa can still be a success story.

Goodbye grandfather, your have earned your rest God Bless Africa, ngiyabonga inkosi kakhulu.

The winds of change...

Please click here call it: setting the mood :-)

Well, we it is a month since we moved and we are comfortably settled into our new little house and I love it!  We are back down to just the four of us after 4 years of sharing and we are settling into a new rhythm.

As a woman, wife, mother and daughter who is just about "middle-aged" (yes, dammit I said it) it has been a stressful time all round.  

I have teenagers who can flit from horrid potty-mouthed monsters; to loopy - totally nuts and bolts; to sweet angels; all in a matter of seconds.  Combine ageing parents who are slowly becoming less able.  Then top that off with a husband who, like myself, is coming to terms with being the Sandwich Generation and a wife that has her first career job (since giving birth 13years ago) and you have the hot, hot mess that is my everyday life.  

The "sandwich generation" is a wonderful term for the time in your life where you are responsible for both the generation that you have spawned (in my case, teenage girls) and the older generation - that spawned you (self-explanatory).  If you are nodding your head then this means you are banging around on the same boat.  I know and I understand where you are.

I find that I am more able to switch off to my girls because I know that their raging hormones have eradicated rational thought and action processes and I know that things will get better.  Eventually... All the books say so! Really!  And... in all honesty they are no that bad - if only they would keep their rooms tidy and help a bit more in the house (where have I heard that before?).

Not so easy with our older folk.  It is really difficult coming to terms with parents - who have always seemed so immortal and mighty - becoming anything less.  Until recently ageing was a romantic notion that was only reflected in the eyes of our great-grandparents and then our grandparents, who were always "so old", it seemed normal.  It does not feel the same when your own parents - who you always used to go to for help - are now coming to you.

Having said that, I love and appreciate both sides of my sandwich, they are both wonderful in their own ways - but sometimes it is hard being the meat!  

Moving on to my next issue:
Why is it that I, as a wife and mother, cannot shake the guilt or feel attacked every time my work etches into my family time.  Men don't seem to share this affliction, its work and its gotta be done.  So why do I feel guilty?  I have taken a back seat for most of my life, I worked within school hours for 11 years, doing a job that would not really challenge me or advance my career, never once regretting my choice.  So why is it that now I feel guilty for every work function? Yes, granted, at this time of year there have been a lot!

But I still don't really get it...  
I have accepted my husband's work and even sport commitments that have taken him away from "Family Time".  I don't really recall ever being sulky about it, so why am I faced with sulking about my work commitments?  

I have been working at and planning for this conference since May and finally, by Wednesday next week it will all be over!  My reward is being at all the dinners and attending the trip to Waiheke Island - which is nice, but I still feel guilty about the personal time that it eats into.

Ho hum... First World problems!

Next:
So Christmas is swiftly approaching and I am proud to say that I have managed to keep my blog up for almost 2 years, with a post every month - not too bad.  I have also written a short story which I have self-published as an Ebook and have started on a novel (although I have had writers block for about 4 months).  Still I am quite pleased with what I have managed, my next blog will most likly be about new goals.  Have a great Christmas Everyone!