It's ok to be sappy - I've had 19 years of happy!

I am proud to say that yesterday was my 19th Wedding Anniversary, in today's world I believe that's a pretty fantastic achievement - especially when you consider that we dated for 6 years before that! Sadly, not everyone is as lucky as we are, but I do believe that there is a special someone out there that is meant just for you. 

Some people stay together for all the wrong reasons: convenience, fear, money, status and even to avoid gossip.   Staying together "for the kids" = knotty grounds indeed.  Having met some of these "kids" I would have to say that, in many cases, they wished that their parents had not stayed together.  

Of course, it is rough on kids when parents get divorced, but in many cases - it is even worse if they are living and learning from a loveless marriage.  Fighting, abuse, sarcasm, infidelity or even just plain apathy do not set the tone for these children to believe or put any faith at all into marriage as an institution.

Haydn and I have always teased about the "renewal of our annual contract" around anniversary time.  This is a light banter for us but I think it is probably not a bad idea to look at your relationship/marriage in this way.  

Consider that if you had to meet with your spouse/partner for an annual review, held to decide whether you would continue your relationship, would this alter your conduct?  Would this make you take less for granted and really appreciate one another?  Think about it?  When last did you just thank or compliment your person for something mundane?  Or just randomly gone up to said person and looked them deep in the soul and told them that you really love them?

Before we married Haydn and I agreed on the "unacceptables" and the "unconditionals" - any form of abuse would not be tolerated and absolute fidelity was always going to be an unconditional.  We have always agreed that if either one of us fell out of love we would be honest and end our contract.  Love is the cornerstone, trust and mutual respect is the edifice and coitus, the pleasurable upshot.  Really, if any of these are lacking it's time to remediate with immediate effect (you know what I'm saying).

Of course marriage is hard work - everything worth doing has its challenges but the rewards should always outweigh the hardships.  ALWAYS!  It's the same with having kids.  Hardwork - but the payoff can be fantastic.

Last night, for the very first time, we invited out daughters to join us for our anniversary dinner.  We went to the Orbit 360 which is the revolving restaurant in the Auckland city Sky Tower.  This is the first time that my girls have been exposed to fine dining and I am thrilled to say we had a wonderful time.  It is nights like this that make me feel completely overjoyed.

I wish everyone this kind of happiness. 

Once again Matchbox Twenty has the soundtrack to my life covered: Overjoyed (play me)