The Suburban Mouse and The City Mouse...

A story of a suburban mouse. 

I have worked in the Midwifery Dept. of this University for 5 years and the time has come for me to move on.  This was not a planned move, in the sense that I was looking for another job, but rather a bit of a surprise!  My very dear friend and colleague saw the job advertised (on the city campus) and encouraged me to apply.  So I did, with all the enthusiasm that the job instilled but with the certainty (in my own mind) that this was not really going to happen. The applications closed on the 18th of Feb and I heard nothing.  I was a bit relieved and just told myself that I didn't really expect a response anyway. 

Then a week later, I was astounded when I received a phone call inviting me to interview.  The next Tuesday, I had the interview and the day after that, I had the job.  It was all so fast and so unexpected that I was reduced to a blithering blob of tears of pride, excitement, regret and shame, rolled up in a ball of uncertainty.  The job offers more scope and a higher salary, but it means that I must leave my comfort zone, friends and travel into the big city!   

The poor little suburban mouse is intimidated by the idea of working in the big city!  She likes her old running wheel - it is familiar and safe.

My colleague, of course, was the first to know - this was after all her fault!  Then I told my boss and the next day my line manager.  With each explanation I was overwhelmed with the kindness and support and encouragement that I received.  It felt like I was immigrating all over again - an experience that left me wrecked for a few months, back in 2006.  I am a Capricorn - I hate change! 

I love my team, our students and to be honest, I love being a "know it all" and "go to" person.  Giving all of this up for something new felt like the toughest decision in the world.  With each "the last" milestone, I have shed a few more tears, feeling all the sillier with each emotional step.  If I am so upset, maybe this is the wrong move? 

Suburban mouse has forgotten the career goals that she set aside to raise her young.  There are no regrets but perhaps she needs to spread her wings -they have been clipped for so long?  

I remembered a technique I learned in a workshop.  I closed my eyes and imagined my 18 year old self meeting me and talking about my life and choices (she was a tough idealistic cookie who knew nothing of parenting, but had dreams and desires, goals and ambition).  After some soul searching the way forward seemed crystal clear. 

The the suburban mouse put on her big girl panties and took the first step towards the city.

I have accepted the fact that half my pay rise will go to travel and I have just added an hour to each day for travel time.  This is not so bitter a pill to swallow as I have now also reconciled that I have 6 years of career (and financial) growth in this position too.  

There is a part of me that feels a bit guilty, that this job means less time with my kids.  Maybe I am being a bit selfish, yet I feel proud and a little stubborn that it is "my turn" I have waited 14 years to further my career.  Overall, I have stunning daughters, a supportive husband and a fantastic home support structure.  My girls are fabulous young ladies who are quite capable of looking after themselves and doing the right thing.  

Sure, I will have new challenges and a very steep learning curve but I am not afraid.  

No... I am excited!