Straighten things out...

We saw the specialist yesterday and the prognosis is not great.  It seems as though surgery is imminent and since our health insurance does not cover it we will just have to go through the NZ public health system.  Thankfully, this is not awful news - the level of care in NZ is very high.

Her curves are both over 45 degrees and the concern is that with another growth spurt imminent the curve will continue and reach 60 degrees, if that happens then it will continue to curve for the rest of her life and end up incapacitating her.  Scoliosis is much harder to correct beyond the "growing years" and so treatment is recommended before age 15.

The next step is a full spine MRI which will take about an hour and a half, next week Thursday.  They will be investigating the possibility of Arnold Chiari Malformation (unlikely), syringomyelia (unlikely) or tethered cord (I am hopeful, but unlikely).

Once this has been established then we will need to decide when, rather than if, Megan will have the surgery to straighten her spine.  The implication of not having the surgery is that the curve will continue and she will (and I quote) "not get a date to the ball".  She will also "grow" 7cm on the operating table when they "straighten things out".

Megan is dealing with all this incredibly well and she is keen to "get it all over and done with".  

We will get a second opinion before we consent to surgery and so I am looking for an alternative specialist to make comment on her condition. 

I will keep you all updated as things progress.

For more information, you can have a look at : http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/idiopathic_scoliosis

http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/scoliosis_in_juveniles

http://www.iscoliosis.com/

http://www.srs.org/

 

Writing from the heart...

My latest writing assignment ended up being based on a real story.  The assignment was "Pick a day that didn’t end that way you wanted it to and rewrite the ending".

Megan had x-rays 3 weeks ago and we are seeing the specialist on 8th August 2012.

Body and Soul

The shock of seeing the x-ray crashes over me like a tsunami. I drag air into my lungs doing my best to mask the panic that is rapidly swelling within.   My heart thumps its way right into my throat and my eyes burn with unshed tears. I swallow down the barbed urchin that has invaded my throat.  “Dear God, no…”  

Inside, my inner goddess is annihilated.  Her limbs flail, thrashing in the darkness.  Consumed with agony and terror, she is rips out clumps of hair while bleating out animalistic cry of devastation. 

Hidden within my stricken mind rage surges and desperation mounts, “No, no, no!  This cannot be my daughter’s spine?  This cannot be!  There must be some mistake.  Please!” 

My soul tries to claw her way out of my chest and decimate the radiology rooms.  She is a fierce warrior that lies within.   We are both fully prepared to fight, but reason overcomes resentment.  Impotent, her arms fall to her sides as she crumples to the floor, a convulsing blob of misery. 

I take a deep, shuddering breath that stutters in and out like a scratched CD.  Replacing my grief wracked face with a mask of serenity; I calmly walk back into the room.  Megan’s eyes meet mine with a curiosity that begs for explanation.  For a second the mask slips but I quickly force it back and aim for a reassuring smile. Uncertainty flickers across her face but she remains pliant as the radiographer moves her into the next position.  I step back outside.

In the flick of a switch, my goddess has struck a bargain, we shall not accept this.  Her knowledge passes to me is a single breath and I understand.  “No, we shall not,” I agree and the surreal quality of my world expands.  “I have the power to undo this, to change what is?” I ask with wonder. My goddess nods sadly, the price is high.  There is no need for consideration.  The deal is struck - the terms are readily accepted and agreed to.

Body and soul collide as my metaphysical world interweaves with reality. With determined resolve I focus on the deformed s-bend that is my daughter’s spine.  With immovable concentration, I stare until my eyes burn, until I find the tremble.  The world flickers and time distorts. 

With every ounce of inner strength, I focus. Pressure builds and my head threatens to implode; but I will not stop now.  The thumping in my ears is like a jackhammer that has found my eardrums and had babies.  For each degree that the spine on the screen straightens, I feel the pop, rip and tear.  Bit by bit her curves are bartered for my own straighter alignment.  My body screams in agony, but I make no sound, “I don’t care, I can take it.  For my child I will take anything!”

The world wobbles once more and the warp shreds like gladwrap that has pulled too tight.  Energy surges from me with the force of a tidal wave and I collapse into a nearby chair.  Slowly the room comes back into focus. 

The tick of the clock replaces the void of silence.  With trembling hands I wipe my face.  Meekly, I lift my eyes back up to the image on the screen.  It is done.