Writing from the heart...

My latest writing assignment ended up being based on a real story.  The assignment was "Pick a day that didn’t end that way you wanted it to and rewrite the ending".

Megan had x-rays 3 weeks ago and we are seeing the specialist on 8th August 2012.

Body and Soul

The shock of seeing the x-ray crashes over me like a tsunami. I drag air into my lungs doing my best to mask the panic that is rapidly swelling within.   My heart thumps its way right into my throat and my eyes burn with unshed tears. I swallow down the barbed urchin that has invaded my throat.  “Dear God, no…”  

Inside, my inner goddess is annihilated.  Her limbs flail, thrashing in the darkness.  Consumed with agony and terror, she is rips out clumps of hair while bleating out animalistic cry of devastation. 

Hidden within my stricken mind rage surges and desperation mounts, “No, no, no!  This cannot be my daughter’s spine?  This cannot be!  There must be some mistake.  Please!” 

My soul tries to claw her way out of my chest and decimate the radiology rooms.  She is a fierce warrior that lies within.   We are both fully prepared to fight, but reason overcomes resentment.  Impotent, her arms fall to her sides as she crumples to the floor, a convulsing blob of misery. 

I take a deep, shuddering breath that stutters in and out like a scratched CD.  Replacing my grief wracked face with a mask of serenity; I calmly walk back into the room.  Megan’s eyes meet mine with a curiosity that begs for explanation.  For a second the mask slips but I quickly force it back and aim for a reassuring smile. Uncertainty flickers across her face but she remains pliant as the radiographer moves her into the next position.  I step back outside.

In the flick of a switch, my goddess has struck a bargain, we shall not accept this.  Her knowledge passes to me is a single breath and I understand.  “No, we shall not,” I agree and the surreal quality of my world expands.  “I have the power to undo this, to change what is?” I ask with wonder. My goddess nods sadly, the price is high.  There is no need for consideration.  The deal is struck - the terms are readily accepted and agreed to.

Body and soul collide as my metaphysical world interweaves with reality. With determined resolve I focus on the deformed s-bend that is my daughter’s spine.  With immovable concentration, I stare until my eyes burn, until I find the tremble.  The world flickers and time distorts. 

With every ounce of inner strength, I focus. Pressure builds and my head threatens to implode; but I will not stop now.  The thumping in my ears is like a jackhammer that has found my eardrums and had babies.  For each degree that the spine on the screen straightens, I feel the pop, rip and tear.  Bit by bit her curves are bartered for my own straighter alignment.  My body screams in agony, but I make no sound, “I don’t care, I can take it.  For my child I will take anything!”

The world wobbles once more and the warp shreds like gladwrap that has pulled too tight.  Energy surges from me with the force of a tidal wave and I collapse into a nearby chair.  Slowly the room comes back into focus. 

The tick of the clock replaces the void of silence.  With trembling hands I wipe my face.  Meekly, I lift my eyes back up to the image on the screen.  It is done.