I am really frustrated with how variable time seems to have become over the last few weeks. At work each minute ticks by slowly, like a sluggish snail dragging it's shell. Then the weekend begins and I blink, just once, and it is Monday again! Curse you perception, curse you!
Megan has been referred to Starship Spine Service and we are waiting for our appointment so that this can progress again. We are really hoping that she will be able to have the surgery before Christmas so that we can be with her at home while she recovers.
Jenna has put in an application to the performing arts class and we are optimistic that she will get in. She really is a mini me, a little drama queen that can dance! Antithetically, she does really well in Maths.
My writing course is almost complete and I am feeling really pleased with my progress and with what I have learnt. I fear that I will always have a few grammar gremlins chomping at my words like ants at a picnic. I am still uncertain as to where my writing is going to go and how but perhaps I just need a break.
Spring arrived a few weeks ago and flirted mercilessly with us. She flashed her sunny smile and made us think she was here to stay. Sadly on the weekend Winter slammed her foot down and showed us all who is boss. The old wet and windy hag will not let go her grip and Spring is just going to have to wait in the wings for Winter to get bored with us. I really hope this happens soon because we didn't really have a Summer to speak of last year.
A personal blog of a woman living with a sense of pain and a chronic humor ;-)
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Straighten things out...
We saw the specialist yesterday and the prognosis is not great. It seems as though surgery is imminent and since our health insurance does not cover it we will just have to go through the NZ public health system. Thankfully, this is not awful news - the level of care in NZ is very high.
Her curves are both over 45 degrees and the concern is that with another growth spurt imminent the curve will continue and reach 60 degrees, if that happens then it will continue to curve for the rest of her life and end up incapacitating her. Scoliosis is much harder to correct beyond the "growing years" and so treatment is recommended before age 15.
The next step is a full spine MRI which will take about an hour and a half, next week Thursday. They will be investigating the possibility of Arnold Chiari Malformation (unlikely), syringomyelia (unlikely) or tethered cord (I am hopeful, but unlikely).
Once this has been established then we will need to decide when, rather than if, Megan will have the surgery to straighten her spine. The implication of not having the surgery is that the curve will continue and she will (and I quote) "not get a date to the ball". She will also "grow" 7cm on the operating table when they "straighten things out".
Megan is dealing with all this incredibly well and she is keen to "get it all over and done with".
We will get a second opinion before we consent to surgery and so I am looking for an alternative specialist to make comment on her condition.
I will keep you all updated as things progress.
For more information, you can have a look at : http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/idiopathic_scoliosis
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Writing from the heart...
My latest writing assignment ended up being based on a real story. The assignment was "Pick
a day that didn’t end that way you wanted it to and rewrite the ending".
Megan had x-rays 3 weeks ago and we are seeing the specialist on 8th August 2012.
Body and Soul
The
shock of seeing the x-ray crashes over me like a tsunami. I drag air into my
lungs doing my best to mask the panic that is rapidly swelling within. My heart thumps its way right into my throat
and my eyes burn with unshed tears. I swallow down the barbed urchin that has invaded
my throat. “Dear God, no…”
Inside, my inner goddess is
annihilated. Her limbs flail, thrashing
in the darkness. Consumed with agony and
terror, she is rips out clumps of hair while bleating out animalistic cry of
devastation.
Hidden within my stricken mind rage surges
and desperation mounts, “No, no, no!
This cannot be my daughter’s spine?
This cannot be! There must be
some mistake. Please!”
My soul tries to claw her way out of my
chest and decimate the radiology rooms.
She is a fierce warrior that lies within. We are
both fully prepared to fight, but reason overcomes resentment. Impotent, her arms fall to her sides as she
crumples to the floor, a convulsing blob of misery.
I
take a deep, shuddering breath that stutters in and out like a scratched CD. Replacing my grief wracked face with a mask
of serenity; I calmly walk back into the room.
Megan’s eyes meet mine with a curiosity that begs for explanation. For a second the mask slips but I quickly
force it back and aim for a reassuring smile. Uncertainty flickers across her
face but she remains pliant as the radiographer moves her into the next
position. I step back outside.
In the flick of a switch, my goddess has
struck a bargain, we shall not accept this.
Her knowledge passes to me is a single breath and I understand. “No, we shall not,” I agree and the surreal
quality of my world expands. “I have the
power to undo this, to change what is?” I ask with wonder. My goddess nods
sadly, the price is high. There is no
need for consideration. The deal is struck
- the terms are readily accepted and agreed to.
Body
and soul collide as my metaphysical world interweaves with reality. With determined
resolve I focus on the deformed s-bend that is my daughter’s spine. With immovable concentration, I stare until
my eyes burn, until I find the tremble.
The world flickers and time distorts.
With every ounce of inner strength, I focus.
Pressure builds and my head threatens to implode; but I will not stop now. The thumping in my ears is like a jackhammer
that has found my eardrums and had babies.
For each degree that the spine on the screen straightens, I feel the pop,
rip and tear. Bit by bit her curves are bartered
for my own straighter alignment. My body
screams in agony, but I make no sound, “I don’t care, I can take it. For my child I will take anything!”
The world wobbles once more and the warp
shreds like gladwrap that has pulled too tight.
Energy surges from me with the force of a tidal wave and I collapse into
a nearby chair. Slowly the room comes
back into focus.
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Yin and Yang
I am reluctantly learning the lesson of taking the bad with the good. For every good thing that happens there seems to be two fold of the bad. Just when I think I cannot take any more another straw is laid on my hump and somehow, I find the strength to carry it.
I know that everyone has their burdens but I really need some relief. I am throwing this out there into the universe and hoping that something good will come back to me. My precious grandfather's words are some solace: "You can make it, with change comes new strength, accept things as they are..."
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
A + Yes!
I finally cracked the nut :-)
First assignment was using interesting words to enrich my writing...
“The Barb” is a buxom
blonde. To describe her as gaudy would
be a compliment. Her talons are an inch
too long and her hair is a remarkably fake shade of yellow. Typically her
make-up is plastered on much too thick and she has lipstick on her teeth. Barb’s
red dress is so short and tight that I can see the stitching straining at the
seams. Her legs are adorned with red fishnet stockings and her toes are leering
over the edge of her peep toed emerald green stilettos.
Her laugh is too loud,
her smile too wide and she cants on about nonsense. She is the queen of inappropriate and
tactless remarks with absolutely no compunction for invading personal
space. Combine this with her overzealous
responses and her company is excruciating.
As she speaks, the air becomes
redolent with her profusely sweet perfume coalesced with a stale garlic odour of
her breath. I feel myself gag and recoil,
desperately searching for an excuse to flee.
Thankfully, Haydn’s
eyes meet mine. He calls out to me with feigned
desperation, amusement etched into his face.
“Oh, please excuse me,” I say, relieved.
As I turn towards my
husband, Barb grabs my arm, determined to stymie my departure. Usually I am open-minded and altruistic, but
this limpid, lewd, walking foible in her ridiculous outfit is more than I can
tolerate. I yank my arm from her importunate
grip, flushing with barely controlled fury.
I have an intractable urge to slap her pretentious fat, face.
At that moment my cavalier
companion swoops in with knightly grace and eases me away from Barb and her
barbaric behaviour! Within seconds we are
outside on the balcony and I can once again draw breath. The night air is crisp and fresh. I hear him chortle and chuckle as I feel the angry
redness slowly drain from my face. I fling
myself into his arms with a giggle, kiss his neck and say in a slow southern
accent, “My hero!”
“Let’s get out of here?”
he suggests, grinning salaciously. I assent
to his wishes. Withdrawing his keys from
his pocket, he takes my hand and we head off.
The brief for this one was a childhood memory of smell...
I like shopping with my mum.
The Mall is so big. I hold mummy’s hand tight, so I won’t get
lost. The milkshake shop is my best. It smells all yummy, like candy, chocolate,
caramel and bubble-gum. It makes me lick
my lips, “Muuhum…” I begin in my special asking voice.
“Maybe later, okay?” she replies with
a little smile, before I even asked.
I try not to sulk, but I force my
bottom lip down anyway and give her cross eyes.
She does not see. “Maybe later,” usually means no.
Yay, we are going in the glass
elevator that makes my tummy go flip floppy.
I can’t stand by the glass because there are too many people. The tall man with grey pants is in the
way. I bend my legs and look through the
triangle his legs make.
Rumble,
squeak, pop!
Eeew!
Stinky! That man just fluffed -
right in my face! It smells like egg
sandwiches, only worse. I turn my head
and try to jiggle the smelly yuck out my nose.
I look up and open my mouth to tell mum but she quickly shakes her head
and does the frown.
I close my mouth, this is a “think but don’t say” time. I wish I could say though, because I even
have a nasty taste in my mouth! That man
must eat eggs all the time, maybe he has his own chickens laying eggs every
day!
That’s another bad thing about being
small. If I was bigger my nose would not
be so close to his butt! I pinch my nose
with my fingers and wait for the door to open.
Mummy puts her hand on my back
and pushes me forward in a quick march.
Friday, 29 June 2012
Writing...of course!
So... I am working away at my course and thought that I would share my first article with you.
Hope you enjoy.
I
can relate, Gen Z
If you scrutinise those born in
the early 1990’s up to about 2010 you will discover Generation Z. They are also sometimes called, the
“iGeneration”, “Now Generation”, “Generation Next”, “Net Generation” or Gen Z. To better understand this group of young
people, as parents, we need a quick overview of where they are coming from.
![]() |
| My Gen Z's, Meg and Jen |
Researchers
claim that Gen Z are more socially and environmentally aware and as such, are
likely to pursue careers that they think will help society. They are open minded and accepting of
differences, celebrating individuality.
Furthermore, as a result of their ability to process massive amounts of
information at lightning speed, Gen Z will be high performers in mentally
demanding jobs. But, before we explore
work and potential, we need to establish who they are and how they will get
there.
It follows then, that we should
consider how they learn. Educators
report that teaching styles have been overhauled to engage Gen Z. Gone are the days when the mere novelty of working
on a computer would inspire a student to learn.
Teachers have moved from “chalk and talk” to more eye-catching and
stimulating multimedia lessons. Digital
natives, Gen Z respond well to visual (kinaesthetic, auditory) learning. They love a contest! All of their gaming experience is centred on
problem solving, meeting the challenge and then moving to a higher level and
they are addicted to success. This can
be applied to their learning too.
![]() |
| Gen Z Boys, Jordan and Tyler |
Aside from
computer games, consider for a moment what kids are doing in their free
time. Social networks, like Facebook,
SKYPE, Twitter, Tumbler and MySpace have changed the concepts of communication,
interaction and privacy. Judgement is
made with the click of a “Like” button and snap decisions are not only
desirable but expected. Gen Z is coming of age publicly, on the web, sharing
just about everything.
These
multi-taskers seem to always be doing more than one thing at the same
time. Instead of just walking and
chewing gum, they are also texting and listing to music. Some say that Gen Z will be a physically
challenged generation, too entrenched in sedentary pastimes. Game-makers like
Wii and X-Box have come up with motion sensor games that simulate outdoor
sports and recreation, to get these tech savvy kids off the couch. However, having been raised on ad campaigns
that highlight healthy eating and fitness, Gen Z may even be healthier than previous
generations.
Yes folks, Gen Z’s are mature,
intelligent and confident, but they can also be incredibly challenging,
especially for parents. Demographer Hugh
Mackay explains “a child who is never told "No", allowed to fail or
made to face consequences – who is always praised and has never had to share or
wait for anything, grows into an adult unprepared for the realities of
life.” Perhaps all the politically
correct “fair” treatment will have a backlash, maybe we really do need to
harden up. There are always winners and
losers. In the “pass-the-parcel” of
life, there isn’t a toy in every layer.
Gen Z may be less equipped to cope with the unavoidable failures and
disappointments of life.
Having said that, we made them,
so we had better learn to live with them!
Are we overindulgent and permissive parents? Gen Z’s are growing up with
time poor parents of the “most divorced” generation, living through one of the
worst economic recessions in history.
Exhausted, financially stressed and guilt-ridden, many parents are
looking for ways to compensate and simplify child rearing. Perhaps we are too
tolerant. Kid’s need discipline in order
to learn how to regulate their emotions.
If bad behaviour results in punishment, this must be followed through,
no matter how difficult it is.
![]() |
| Gen Z girls, Micca and Bee |
Of course, there is another solution, let’s switch off the TV’s and the WiFi once in a while and spend time talking to our kids. Bring back real family time for dinners and conversation around the dinner table, board games, walks and picnics in the fresh air. This will go a long way in teaching Gen Z practical life skills like patience, conversation and good manners. With so much potential and promise, with our help, Gen Z could have an incredibly positive influence on the way we see things and the world we share.
Friday, 8 June 2012
It's June!
Yesterday I put my head down to get some work done and today when I looked up it is already Friday the 8th of June! Wow - half way through the year already! I have not got much to report but I am trucking away at my writing assignments, which is taking up most of my down time, in which I used to write here...
Perhaps I will post up one of my pieces for review? Mmm - maybe...
Have a great weekend y'all!
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