Straighten things out...

We saw the specialist yesterday and the prognosis is not great.  It seems as though surgery is imminent and since our health insurance does not cover it we will just have to go through the NZ public health system.  Thankfully, this is not awful news - the level of care in NZ is very high.

Her curves are both over 45 degrees and the concern is that with another growth spurt imminent the curve will continue and reach 60 degrees, if that happens then it will continue to curve for the rest of her life and end up incapacitating her.  Scoliosis is much harder to correct beyond the "growing years" and so treatment is recommended before age 15.

The next step is a full spine MRI which will take about an hour and a half, next week Thursday.  They will be investigating the possibility of Arnold Chiari Malformation (unlikely), syringomyelia (unlikely) or tethered cord (I am hopeful, but unlikely).

Once this has been established then we will need to decide when, rather than if, Megan will have the surgery to straighten her spine.  The implication of not having the surgery is that the curve will continue and she will (and I quote) "not get a date to the ball".  She will also "grow" 7cm on the operating table when they "straighten things out".

Megan is dealing with all this incredibly well and she is keen to "get it all over and done with".  

We will get a second opinion before we consent to surgery and so I am looking for an alternative specialist to make comment on her condition. 

I will keep you all updated as things progress.

For more information, you can have a look at : http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/idiopathic_scoliosis

http://www.wheelessonline.com/ortho/scoliosis_in_juveniles

http://www.iscoliosis.com/

http://www.srs.org/

 

Writing from the heart...

My latest writing assignment ended up being based on a real story.  The assignment was "Pick a day that didn’t end that way you wanted it to and rewrite the ending".

Megan had x-rays 3 weeks ago and we are seeing the specialist on 8th August 2012.

Body and Soul

The shock of seeing the x-ray crashes over me like a tsunami. I drag air into my lungs doing my best to mask the panic that is rapidly swelling within.   My heart thumps its way right into my throat and my eyes burn with unshed tears. I swallow down the barbed urchin that has invaded my throat.  “Dear God, no…”  

Inside, my inner goddess is annihilated.  Her limbs flail, thrashing in the darkness.  Consumed with agony and terror, she is rips out clumps of hair while bleating out animalistic cry of devastation. 

Hidden within my stricken mind rage surges and desperation mounts, “No, no, no!  This cannot be my daughter’s spine?  This cannot be!  There must be some mistake.  Please!” 

My soul tries to claw her way out of my chest and decimate the radiology rooms.  She is a fierce warrior that lies within.   We are both fully prepared to fight, but reason overcomes resentment.  Impotent, her arms fall to her sides as she crumples to the floor, a convulsing blob of misery. 

I take a deep, shuddering breath that stutters in and out like a scratched CD.  Replacing my grief wracked face with a mask of serenity; I calmly walk back into the room.  Megan’s eyes meet mine with a curiosity that begs for explanation.  For a second the mask slips but I quickly force it back and aim for a reassuring smile. Uncertainty flickers across her face but she remains pliant as the radiographer moves her into the next position.  I step back outside.

In the flick of a switch, my goddess has struck a bargain, we shall not accept this.  Her knowledge passes to me is a single breath and I understand.  “No, we shall not,” I agree and the surreal quality of my world expands.  “I have the power to undo this, to change what is?” I ask with wonder. My goddess nods sadly, the price is high.  There is no need for consideration.  The deal is struck - the terms are readily accepted and agreed to.

Body and soul collide as my metaphysical world interweaves with reality. With determined resolve I focus on the deformed s-bend that is my daughter’s spine.  With immovable concentration, I stare until my eyes burn, until I find the tremble.  The world flickers and time distorts. 

With every ounce of inner strength, I focus. Pressure builds and my head threatens to implode; but I will not stop now.  The thumping in my ears is like a jackhammer that has found my eardrums and had babies.  For each degree that the spine on the screen straightens, I feel the pop, rip and tear.  Bit by bit her curves are bartered for my own straighter alignment.  My body screams in agony, but I make no sound, “I don’t care, I can take it.  For my child I will take anything!”

The world wobbles once more and the warp shreds like gladwrap that has pulled too tight.  Energy surges from me with the force of a tidal wave and I collapse into a nearby chair.  Slowly the room comes back into focus. 

The tick of the clock replaces the void of silence.  With trembling hands I wipe my face.  Meekly, I lift my eyes back up to the image on the screen.  It is done.

Yin and Yang

I am reluctantly learning the lesson of taking the bad with the good.  For every good thing that happens there seems to be two fold of the bad.  Just when I think I cannot take any more another straw is laid on my hump and somehow, I find the strength to carry it.

I know that everyone has their burdens but I really need some relief.  I am throwing this out there into the universe and hoping that something good will come back to me.  My precious grandfather's words are some solace:  "You can make it, with change comes new strength, accept things as they are..." 

I am trying.

A + Yes!

I finally cracked the nut :-)

First assignment was using interesting words to enrich my writing...

“The Barb” is a buxom blonde.  To describe her as gaudy would be a compliment.  Her talons are an inch too long and her hair is a remarkably fake shade of yellow. Typically her make-up is plastered on much too thick and she has lipstick on her teeth. Barb’s red dress is so short and tight that I can see the stitching straining at the seams. Her legs are adorned with red fishnet stockings and her toes are leering over the edge of her peep toed emerald green stilettos.

Her laugh is too loud, her smile too wide and she cants on about nonsense.  She is the queen of inappropriate and tactless remarks with absolutely no compunction for invading personal space.  Combine this with her overzealous responses and her company is excruciating. 

As she speaks, the air becomes redolent with her profusely sweet perfume coalesced with a stale garlic odour of her breath.  I feel myself gag and recoil, desperately searching for an excuse to flee. 

Thankfully, Haydn’s eyes meet mine.  He calls out to me with feigned desperation, amusement etched into his face.  “Oh, please excuse me,” I say, relieved.    

As I turn towards my husband, Barb grabs my arm, determined to stymie my departure.  Usually I am open-minded and altruistic, but this limpid, lewd, walking foible in her ridiculous outfit is more than I can tolerate.  I yank my arm from her importunate grip, flushing with barely controlled fury.  I have an intractable urge to slap her pretentious fat, face.

At that moment my cavalier companion swoops in with knightly grace and eases me away from Barb and her barbaric behaviour!  Within seconds we are outside on the balcony and I can once again draw breath.  The night air is crisp and fresh.  I hear him chortle and chuckle as I feel the angry redness slowly drain from my face.  I fling myself into his arms with a giggle, kiss his neck and say in a slow southern accent, “My hero!”

“Let’s get out of here?” he suggests, grinning salaciously.  I assent to his wishes.  Withdrawing his keys from his pocket, he takes my hand and we head off.

By the time we reach our car we are ambivalent about leaving.  Our last intention is to decimate our friendships and disillusion our hosts (and… my coat was still hanging in the entrance hall).  With stoic determination we turn back to ameliorate our departure.  We sneak back in the way we came, carefully avoiding any further exchange with “The Barb”. 

The brief for this one was a childhood memory of smell...

I like shopping with my mum.

The Mall is so big.  I hold mummy’s hand tight, so I won’t get lost.  The milkshake shop is my best.  It smells all yummy, like candy, chocolate, caramel and bubble-gum.  It makes me lick my lips, “Muuhum…” I begin in my special asking voice.

“Maybe later, okay?” she replies with a little smile, before I even asked. 

I try not to sulk, but I force my bottom lip down anyway and give her cross eyes.  She does not see.  “Maybe later,” usually means no.

Yay, we are going in the glass elevator that makes my tummy go flip floppy.  I can’t stand by the glass because there are too many people.  The tall man with grey pants is in the way.  I bend my legs and look through the triangle his legs make. 

Rumble, squeak, pop! 

Eeew!  Stinky!  That man just fluffed - right in my face!  It smells like egg sandwiches, only worse.  I turn my head and try to jiggle the smelly yuck out my nose.  I look up and open my mouth to tell mum but she quickly shakes her head and does the frown. 

I close my mouth, this is a “think but don’t say” time.  I wish I could say though, because I even have a nasty taste in my mouth!  That man must eat eggs all the time, maybe he has his own chickens laying eggs every day!

 

That’s another bad thing about being small.  If I was bigger my nose would not be so close to his butt!  I pinch my nose with my fingers and wait for the door to open.   Mummy puts her hand on my back and pushes me forward in a quick march.

Writing...of course!

So... I am working away at my course and thought that I would share my first article with you.
Hope you enjoy.

I can relate, Gen Z

If you scrutinise those born in the early 1990’s up to about 2010 you will discover Generation Z.  They are also sometimes called, the “iGeneration”, “Now Generation”, “Generation Next”, “Net Generation” or Gen Z.  To better understand this group of young people, as parents, we need a quick overview of where they are coming from.

My Gen Z's, Meg and Jen

They were born into the digital age and cannot imagine a world without mobile phones or computers.  Their world connects by technology and there are no holds barred.  They want instant gratification, and they want it now!

Researchers claim that Gen Z are more socially and environmentally aware and as such, are likely to pursue careers that they think will help society.  They are open minded and accepting of differences, celebrating individuality.  Furthermore, as a result of their ability to process massive amounts of information at lightning speed, Gen Z will be high performers in mentally demanding jobs.  But, before we explore work and potential, we need to establish who they are and how they will get there.

It follows then, that we should consider how they learn.  Educators report that teaching styles have been overhauled to engage Gen Z.  Gone are the days when the mere novelty of working on a computer would inspire a student to learn.  Teachers have moved from “chalk and talk” to more eye-catching and stimulating multimedia lessons.  Digital natives, Gen Z respond well to visual (kinaesthetic, auditory) learning.  They love a contest!  All of their gaming experience is centred on problem solving, meeting the challenge and then moving to a higher level and they are addicted to success.  This can be applied to their learning too. 

Gen Z Boys, Jordan and Tyler

However, we should also acknowledge that all learning does not occur in the classroom.  Playing games like SIMs and Farmville is turning children into little consumers.  They have already learned that money does not grow on a farm!  Gen Z grasp the concept of choice requiring sacrifice and realise that there are consequences to all decisions.  Unfortunately, they have not all learned that there is no “undo button” in the game if life.

Aside from computer games, consider for a moment what kids are doing in their free time.  Social networks, like Facebook, SKYPE, Twitter, Tumbler and MySpace have changed the concepts of communication, interaction and privacy.  Judgement is made with the click of a “Like” button and snap decisions are not only desirable but expected. Gen Z is coming of age publicly, on the web, sharing just about everything.   

 

These multi-taskers seem to always be doing more than one thing at the same time.  Instead of just walking and chewing gum, they are also texting and listing to music.  Some say that Gen Z will be a physically challenged generation, too entrenched in sedentary pastimes. Game-makers like Wii and X-Box have come up with motion sensor games that simulate outdoor sports and recreation, to get these tech savvy kids off the couch.  However, having been raised on ad campaigns that highlight healthy eating and fitness, Gen Z may even be healthier than previous generations. 

Yes folks, Gen Z’s are mature, intelligent and confident, but they can also be incredibly challenging, especially for parents.  Demographer Hugh Mackay explains “a child who is never told "No", allowed to fail or made to face consequences – who is always praised and has never had to share or wait for anything, grows into an adult unprepared for the realities of life.”  Perhaps all the politically correct “fair” treatment will have a backlash, maybe we really do need to harden up.  There are always winners and losers.  In the “pass-the-parcel” of life, there isn’t a toy in every layer.  Gen Z may be less equipped to cope with the unavoidable failures and disappointments of life. 

Having said that, we made them, so we had better learn to live with them!  Are we overindulgent and permissive parents? Gen Z’s are growing up with time poor parents of the “most divorced” generation, living through one of the worst economic recessions in history.  Exhausted, financially stressed and guilt-ridden, many parents are looking for ways to compensate and simplify child rearing. Perhaps we are too tolerant.  Kid’s need discipline in order to learn how to regulate their emotions.  If bad behaviour results in punishment, this must be followed through, no matter how difficult it is.

Gen Z girls, Micca and Bee

Another aspect to consider, is how we share with this bamboozling horde?  Neer Korn, author and social trends expert says: "People lament the loss of communication skills, but it's not a loss, it's an evolution.” We need to meet Gen Z at the virtual middle and use technology to get our messages across.  So, start exercising those handy opposable thumbs people.  If we want to get our prodigy’s attention, we may need to send an IM or text message.  Just make certain that you understand the commonly used abbreviations, or you will find yourself lost in the quagmire of LOL’s, LMAO’s, and WTF’s. 

 
Of course, there is another solution, let’s switch off the TV’s and the WiFi once in a while and spend time talking to our kids.  Bring back real family time for dinners and conversation around the dinner table, board games, walks and picnics in the fresh air.  This will go a long way in teaching Gen Z practical life skills like patience, conversation and good manners.  With so much potential and promise, with our help, Gen Z could have an incredibly positive influence on the way we see things and the world we share.

It's June!

Yesterday I put my head down to get some work done and today when I looked up it is already Friday the 8th of June!  Wow - half way through the year already!  I have not got much to report but I am trucking away at my writing assignments, which is taking up most of my down time, in which I used to write here...

Perhaps I will post up one of my pieces for review?  Mmm - maybe...

Have a great weekend y'all!

Last Night...

I was asked by someone, last night, whether I was proud of my work on this blog.  Honestly, yes I am.  I have put so much of myself into these pages.  Many entries have been the cathartic release that I needed to come to terms with things that messed with my bliss.   

I have learned that holding things in or pretending feelings will go away in time, never works.  You have to act.  Inaction is damaging to the soul.  So stand up and say, "Yes, this situation sucks! But, I am going to make a good plan to fix it".  Then you make good, own it and do it.  You will be forgiven, so long as you are genuinely working to fix things.

I believe that I have led a good an honorable life.  I am not ashamed of anything in my past, it has made me who I am. I am hopeful for the future.  I have been blessed with parents who have been fantastic role models, a husband that is an honest example of goodness (with a little yummy sexiness mixed in - that you don't really need to know about).  My children are beautiful, kind, good students and have great values that will help them to become wonderful contributors as adults (we just have to survive their teens 8D)

I walk with my head held high and and know that I am doing the very best I can, every single day.  Some days are ridiculously successful, others not, I accept that.  The best way to rise up in peoples estimation, is to rise up and take action.  Be proud of yourself and who you are.  Hopefully then, the mark you leave on the world will be a smiley face.